Have you ever not been able to relax?
Do you have a hard time relieving stress?
I witnessed this unease many times throughout my life, and my career as a wellness coach and qigong teacher. In my opinion, enjoying relaxation is an accomplishment. Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through the withholding. This blog discusses some ways to help yourself relax and feel stress relief.
I took a three month break from many business activities and social media. I did it because I started tangoing with a boundary that bumped up against disability. I was risking my life, happiness, and longevity through my over-ambitiousness. I describe it as the need to be doing something every moment of your life to be happy or accomplished. How exhausting! I needed to rid my life of as many distractions as possible. Despite this being achieved, I had a hard time with relaxation.
Transitioning from work to vacation, ending a work shift, or taking medical leave are a few examples of who may experience the struggle to relax. Ambitiousness is an inner light and killer. It can help you with meaning and accomplishment in your life. It also can feel like a coat of constriction that you can't take off.
If you are suffering from a coat of constriction and not able to unwind, first give permission to relax. It's always nice to start with acknowledging what is going on. Usually relaxation includes laying down because the body doesn't have to hold you up, which creates tension. Doing nothing is something because releasing tension in the body is good for you! Become aware of the over-ambitiousness and behaviors accompanied with it. For example, during my three month social media hiatus it was a behavior to grab the phone instead of actually relaxing to feel like I was doing something.
What are the things you tell yourself during these times of struggle?
"Everyone else is working and I'm just being a bum"
"I am only worthy if I am useful"
"I have to be doing something to feel accomplished"
"I should be doing this, that, and more!"
Meet the dialogue with acknowledgement.
"I am not a bum, I was working while everyone was relaxing!"
"I am worthy no matter what"
"I am already accomplished"
"Those are good ideas, I'll write it down for later since I'm relaxing now."
Understand it may take several repetitions for relaxation and stress relief. Do not judge yourself. The expectations of ourselves are the cap to happiness. Suspend judgement, feel the ease, let go of the expectations. We all deserve peace!
I witnessed the struggle to relax many times throughout my life, and my career as a wellness coach and qigong teacher. In my opinion, enjoying relaxation is an accomplishment. Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through the withholding. This blog discussed some ways to help relax and feel stress relief.
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